The 100th hundred - My tribute to ourselves (Indians)! (Humour)

Bal Thackrey had asked West Indies to either declare or get bowled out early on the fifth day, else he will not let them play in Mumbai in the future. Now Raj Thackrey has asked Sachin to respect Marathi Maanush and score his 100th century at Mumbai in the 3rd test or else they will declare his famed signature "knee flex maneuver" lewd, and will dig his garden in protest. If he indeed does, Digvijay Singh will say "I see an RSS or Shiv Sena hand in this century" and "this is their Plan D after Baba Ramdev, Anna Hazare and Shri Shri Ravishankar". Mamata will demand a roll back since Sachin denied Kolkata of the opportunity in the 2nd test. Then she will strike a deal for a compensation package where in Sachin will have to play his 200th test in Kolkata. Laloo will ask everybody to declare this century null and void to defeat the communal forces.

Narendra Modi will offer a business development subsidy of 24 runs if Sachin agrees to "set up" his century in Ahmedabad. He will market it as the "Vibrant Gujarat cricket conclave". Nitish Kumar will say that such a feat if completed in Ahmedabad will lack inclusiveness.

Advani will start a Rath Yatra to tell the people how the foundation for this milestone was laid during the NDA regime; and how UPA had stalled Sachin on 99 centuries, just like they have stalled aam aadmi's progress. Manmohan Singh will request Advani to not state the "harsh" reality, and will again go mum. A reporter from the Tabloid Originating in India (TOI) will hear MMS muttering "coalition dharma".

Owing to the dubious nature of the leg before dismissal of Sachin in Kotla test, people will demand to bring Umpires under the ambit of Lokpal. Salman Khursheed will say that umpires need not be brought under Lokpal as the government is planning to bring the "Umpiring Accountability Bill" in the next session. Rahul Gandhi will take a cheating chit out of his pocket and cram two words. He will then ask for special intervention during the presentation ceremony through Ravi Uncle (Ravi Shastri) and will declare that - Umpiring Accountability Commission should be made a "Constitutional Body".

Human rights organizations will campaign against Devendra Bishoo who got Sachin out at Delhi and denied him the right to his 100th century. Arundhati Roy will lead a protest against BCCI for not hosting tests in naxal hit Jharkhand. Sheila Dikshit will blame the curator of Kota pitch which comes under the Delhi District Cricket association headed by Arun Jaitely. Arun Jaitely will put the blame on Sharad Pawar who heads the International Cricket Council and is an alliance partner with the UPA.

Meanwhile a Pranab Mukherjee note will surface through RTI, indicting P Chidambaram of conspiring with A Raja to stop Sachin's century at Kotla to earn money from bookmakers. Congress will rope in Kapil Sibbal to diffuse the crisis, who will prove that the 100th 100 is only a "notional" milestone!

Main Student No. 420

I wrote this one when I was in First Professional M.B.,B.S.

मैं Student No. 420
RNT की सलाखों से बाहर देखता हूँ,
दिन, हफ्ते, महीनों को Semester में बदलते देखता हूँ|
इसके Cafe से मुझे किसी सस्ते ढाबे की खुशबू आती है,
इसकी Building मुझे Central Jail नज़र आती है|

वो कहते हैं यह College है,
फिर क्यूँ यह मुझे School से बदतर लगता है?
वो कहते हैं मैं इसका Student हूँ,
फिर क्यूँ यह मुझे अपना नहीं लगता है?


मैं Junior No. 420
RNT के गलियारों से गुज़रता हूँ,
यारों की धीमी साँसों, तेज़ धडकनों को सुनता हूँ|
Canteen की खुशबू उनमें तफरी की चाह जगाती है,
पर Quantum की याद इच्छा को ठंडा कर जाती है|

वो कहते हैं की यह दस्तूर है,
फिर क्यूँ यह मुझे अत्याचार लगता है?
वो याद दिलाते हैं की यह तो कुछ भी नहीं,
तो यह मुझे उनका प्यार लगता है|


मैं Roll No. 49
L.T. की ओर रुख करता हूँ,
बड़े विश्वास से Class में कदम रखता हूँ,
Class के माहौल से Semester के Result की बू आती है,
और साथ ही डर के मारे बदन में कंपकंपी छूट जाती है|

वो कहते हैं की मैं Pass हुआ हूँ,
फिर क्यूँ मुझे Fail से बदतर लगता है?
इसीलिए यारों, यार अगर ढकनी हो तो,
खुद Pass होना भी नहीं भाता है|

A Fairy Tale (my piece for a website on RR's win in 2008)

“Once upon a time a war was called between eight kingdoms. All the kingdoms had to build their armies with very less time at hand, an army that could stand the test put up by others with their strength and the test of time with their endurance.
One of the kingdoms which lay in a desert had all the odds against it and was counted out by all means and by all people. They were searching for a General when a senior man with golden hair volunteered. Everybody doubted him, not his abilities but because he had not entered the battle field for a long time.
The people of the kingdom silently prayed for the success of this brave man. He went about preparing his army for the battles ahead and tried to find out the special abilities of his men.
When they first went into the battlefield, they were badly wounded but the General still had faith in his men. He told them that, to conquer the opposition they first needed to conquer their own minds and have the belief that they could do it. He assigned roles to all his men. Some were told to attack while others were told to defend and still others were told to keep changing what they did and befool the army on the other side.
The men responded to their General’s call and one could clearly see the difference in the way they carried out themselves. They started winning battles. They were wounded sometimes in between but the General told them to introspect and mend their mistakes and move on.
The battles went on and after some time two armies were left. One key man in the army of the Desert Kingdom was badly wounded. He still wanted to take the battle field but the General told him to rest because they had a lot ahead of them in the future. The General told his men that they must be calm and just do what they had been doing till now and the result will be in their favor.
The men fought bravely. A trusted man of the General went on fighting and wounding several on the opposite side just when his men seemed down. He fought bravely and brought confidence back amongst his people. But just when the other army was again getting an upper hand, the General himself went ahead and gave a telling blow. Now the armies were at the same level and just before sunset one of the enduring brave soldiers gave another blow and the desert kingdom emerged victorious. The people went on celebrating throughout the night. They couldn’t stop praising and thanking their army for the glory they had brought to the kingdom. They now have adopted the General as the son of their kingdom.”
This was indeed a fairy tale ending and as the General Shane Keith Warne said, “The script couldn’t have been written any better”. Team Rajasthan Royals emerged victorious in the battle for the inaugural Indian Premier League beating Chennai Super Kings in a cliffhanger final. Smith’s absence due to a torn hamstring was a setback but Yusuf Pathan hit a half century and got some crucial wickets for the team. In fact both of these efforts came when the chips were down for the Royals. Things again seemed to be getting tough for Rajasthan but just then Shane Warne hit a four and then with one required of the last ball Sohail Tanveer kept his cool and hit the ball in the gap.
A good amount of credit is due to the team owners Emerging Media who had faith in what they were doing and without a shadow of doubt in their minds gave the reigns into the hands of Shane Warne.

National Awards are still very credible

Watched the 55th National Film Awards ceremony..
Shankar Mahadevan sang "Maa" and by the end of his performance, everyone from the President to Manna Dey to Yash Chopra to Priyadarshan to Percept's Shailendra Singh to Sonam Kapoor to the Army men on President's security were teary and eyes of some even failed to contain.. Reminds me that all of us are humans.. And when Shreya Ghosal sang "Yeh Ishq Haaye", a camera caught the President humming the song along.. Truly music transcends or I may say art transcends.... actually, what not??
After the National Awards were announced, I managed to catch a couple of the awarded movies which I had not already seen. And I realized what I would have missed had it not been for the National Awards recognizing these fantastic creations.. I am eagerly waiting for the English or Hindi versions of others..
If not for the National Awards, I would have not known that Priyadarshan who directed the three utterly funny characters in a slugfest for money in "Hera Pheri" could with even more finesse depict a silk weavers inability to buy a silk saree and his subsequent trysts with communism in "Kanchivaram".. And that Shailendra Singh and Percept who manage the big and the rich including many of our dear cricketers, also support regional cinema and produce movies like Kanchivaram..
Its great to see that the National Awards recognize good cinema and retain credibility amidst the numerous pompy showy popular cliche award functions..

I got my ultimate motivation for life

With my internship going on at Rabindra Nath Tagore Medical College and Maharana Bhupal Hospital, Udaipur, I am currently posted in the Department of Paediatrics.

There was a small girl aged around 3 years admitted in the ward with pulmonary tuberculosis. She had been in the ward for the last 18 days and it was my first day in that ward. The girl had to be discharged and I called for her attendants to educate them about the medication schedule. I was shocked to find that the girl was accompanied by just her brother who was 10 years old.

They had come from a village, some 70 odd kilometers away from Udaipur. Out of curiosity I started asking that boy for some more details. He told that he had got his sister admitted here for the third time in the last year. I asked him about their parents and about what he did. Then came the ultimate shock. He said his mother conspired along with some man and killed his father and then left the two children and ran away. He does cleaning work in a marble factory and tries to bring home at least one meal a day. His grand mother lives with them. She is very old and just about manages to make rotis from the aata he brings.

Even if he can't get medicines for free or on subsidy, he pledges to buy all the medicines and wants to see his sister back normal again. He couldn't easily find a free Tuberculosis drugs (DOTS) distributor near his village and the one he found, asked for Vitamin M (money) from an already deficient kid.

How easy it could have been for him to leave her sister somewhere and run away or even run away from home himself and earn and have it all by himself. I don't want to be preaching here, but flashes of news articles about female foeticide did whoosh through my mind. Life isn't always easy but may be it won't be worth living that way. This incident I feel is going to serve as a motivation for me through my life.

इंसान, इंसान से घबरा रहा

इंसान, इंसान से घबरा रहा

धमाकों की गूँज से ज़र्रा ज़र्रा थर्राह रहा
यह देख भारत माँ का दिल कराह रहा
देख आज इंसान, इंसान से घबरा रहा

कहीं रहीम को रुला, वह "हे राम" का नारा लगा रहा
राम को मौत की नींद सुला कोई "रहीम का बंदा" कहला रहा
देख आज इंसान इंसानियत को भुला रहा

कोई हरी पताका, कोई भगवा ध्वज फहरा रहा
गली गलियारों, चौक चौबारों में रंग लाल बह रहा
देख आज इंसान ख़ुद को विधाता कह रहा

भाषा धर्म के नाम पर इंसान बरगला रहा
और सत्ता का लोभी वह हैवान बेखौफ हंस रहा
देख आज इंसान , इंसान का तमाशा बना रहा

गरीब और गरीब, और अमीर, अमीर होता जा रहा
आम ज़िन्दगी से नेता और नेता से आम इंसान कतरा रहा
देख कैसे आज इंसान, इंसान से घबरा रहा

जो इस धरती पर जन्मा, गुणगान कहीं और के कर रहा
यह देख मेरी माँ का दिल पसीज पसीज कर रो रहा
देख आज इंसान मिटटी से बेगाना हो रहा

खून के कतरों, मांस के चीथ्रों में वोट बीन रहा
सुरक्षा की तोप और मवेशी के चारे में नोट गिन रहा
कितना नीचे देख , आज इंसान गिरा जा रहा

तमाशबीन न तुम, तमाशबीन न मैं
तमाशा है ख़ुद, हर वह इंसान
जो हाथ पर हाथ धरे यह तमाशा देखे जा रहा

Insaan, Insaan se ghabra raha

Dhamaakon ki goonj se, zarra zarra tharraah raha
Yeh dekh Bharat Maa ka dil karaah raha
Dekh aaj insaan, insaan se ghabra raha

Kahin Rahim ko rula, wah "He Ram" ka naara laga raha
Ram ko maut ki neend sula, koi "Rahim ka banda" kehla raha
Dekh aaj insaan, insaaniyat ko bhula raha

Koi hari pataaka, koi bhagwa dhwaj fehra raha
Gali Galiyaaron, Chauk Chaubaron mein rang laal beh raha
Dekh aaj insaan, khud ko vidhaata kehla raha

Bhaasha Dharm ke naam par, insaan bargala raha
Aur satta ka lobhi wah haiwaan, bekhauf hans raha
Dekh aaj insaan, insaan ka tamasha bana raha

Gareeb aur gareeb, aur ameer, ameer hota ja raha
Aam zindagi se neta aur neta se aam insaan katra raha
Dekh kaise aaj insaan, insaan se ghabra raha

Jo is dharti par janma, gungaan kahin aur ke kar raha
Yeh dekh meri Maa ka dil, paseej paseej kar ro raha
Dekh aaj insaan, mitti se begaana ho raha

Khoon ke katron, Maans ke cheethron mein, vote been raha
Suraksha ki tope aur maweshi ke chaare mein, note gin raha
Kitna neeche dekh, aaj insaan gira ja raha

Tamaashbeen na tum, Tamaashbeen na main
Tamaasha hai khud, Har wah insaan
Jo haath par haath dhare yeh tamaasha dekhe ja raha
Le dekh aaj insaan, insaan se ghabra raha